When a gay couple or a single gay man turns to a gestational carrier and egg donor to form a family via a process that has become known as “gay surrogacy“, they are coming from a place that is dramatically different from that of straight couples who might also turn to third parties for help with reproduction. Typically, the straight couple has experienced a long and heartbreaking struggle to conceive, first in the bedroom and then at a fertility clinic where they hoped to be able to use the woman’s own eggs and uterus.  They have found themselves in “the land of the infertile”, a place they never wanted to be. Their journey has been long, painful and filled with a series of crushing disappointments.  If they have decided to create their baby with the eggs and/or uterus of another women, they have first been through a difficult internal process that generally includes grieving over their need to rely on a third party.  The gestational carrier and/or egg donor represent the only way left for them to have a baby and, once they turn the corner to acceptance, they feel grateful for the women whose generous sacrifices ensure that the option exists. Read More